Death is only a part of life. all of us will have to deal with it and have to expierance it in our lifetime. My friend Chelsea passed away to a better place this wednesday in a car accident. As much as i miss her being around and making me laugh i know she is so much more happy than she ever will be. She died a young death, 16 years old as of december of 2005. That makes it harder knowing she missed out on so much like a family and marriage and all her dreams she wanted to accomplish. She also missed out on the many struggles and hardships of growing up which is what i think helps me with this. She was a wonderful girl. She stuck to what she believed in and didnt care otherwise. She was extremely spontaneous and funny. For example, once me and her and kayla were out running arrunds for dramma class when we got pizza and i thought it would be funny to take pictures of pepperonis on my nipples and while kayla was taking the picture chelsea threw a piece of pizza right in my face. Stuff like that is what we all miss about chelsea. It seems like everywhere i go i have a memory of something chelsea did that made me laugh.

The last night of her life me and geoffory were hanging out. Im so glad i was able to do that. We all went to coffee loft and then we all went to the park and just sat and talked. On the way back to daphne we talked about how i was moving at the end of this month for san deigo. Chelsea told me that she was happy that i finally get to leave and do what i want to do and that she along with everyone else is going to miss me. She then said she cant wait to get out of here as well. now just to think that she is gone and out of here is crazy. When i finally droped her off at her car i went to give her a high five but instead she reached around me and gave me a big hug. it kinda felt as if she knew she wasnt going to be able to hang out another night and she was saying goodbye.


This is hard but she is in a better place. Just keep her family in your prayers becuase they need it. i couldnt imagine how hard it would be to loose your youngest daughter.

well last weekend was wonderful. which that is an understandment.
i went to san diego. why am i not there now? everything for me is there. the only thing here for me that i must do is english 12 cp. ha cp. college prep.

tabitha. wow. i can seriously say i have never felt this way about anyone ever. i have never cared so much for someone. missed someone so much as i do her. everything about her i love her. i love her early morning face. i love her when she smiles at me. i love her when she looks at me across the room and makes a heart with her hands. i love her when she is sick and throwing up on me. she is beautiful. she is so perfect for me. i wouldnt have it any way else. she is the only girl ive ever cried over just because i missed her. i would/give do anything right now just to hold her hand and kiss her or really just be in the same room. i havent been this comfortable with someone in a long time. its just like she is me in girl form. i cant believe it that ive been searching for something like this for so long and its liek right here. i have it. and i almost gave up. gah im so blessed. if i had just had a time stopper where i could have just stoped us in time i woudl still be with her sitting on those steps by the beach just talking to her and looking at the moon. the same freaking moon that i see in alabama right now. gah i would stay in that moment forever. i love her.

new design i made

illustrator and photoshop.

ok here is what i made again i didnt get to get it at my house.

im just posting this becuase i made this at school and i needed to get it home.

but hey if you want to critique it go ahead. its for my new band project i got going down. its going to mean.

eh i drew up some tattoo flash today. er its ok. the lines are sketchy becuase my sharpie blew out in the middle of it. and i didnt really finish it becuase i had to rush and i forgot stuff.



but i guess its ok for my second drawing of flash. eh. im not happy with it though.

ah i really like her a lot. like alot alot. enough to do anything to make it work and i really hope it does. i could see this going good. she makes me happy. like more than anyone has before. ah its so crazy. people may think im crazy but i honestly dont care because they are feeling what i am. im pretty much completly infatuaded with her. ah it sucks i have to wait to be with her. i seroiusly just want to walk all the way to be with her now. gah tabitha is seemly perfect. <3

ha so i lie when people ask me is everything ok. becuase honestly i much rather just hold it in. its just how i am.